Motherhood from the Sunnah: What We Forget
Everywhere we look today—whether in Western culture or even in many Muslim households—there’s a constant talk about Mother’s Day. But ask yourself: Is motherhood in Islam meant to be celebrated once a year, or honoured every single day?
The truth is, Motherhood from the Sunnah is far deeper, richer, and more important than flowers and a card. It is a bond tied directly to worshipping Allah. It’s a trust, a mercy, and a lifelong duty. Sadly, many of us—caught in the rush of daily life—forget the rights of mothers, the rights of children, and even the balance Islam brings to family roles.
This blog is a reminder, especially for Muslim moms, that Islam already gave us what others are still searching for: dignity, balance, and love within the family. And perhaps, what we forget most is that honouring mothers is not culture—it’s revelation.
Why the Quran Puts Mothers Right After Worship
Allah places parents’ rights directly after His own. He says:
“And your Lord has decreed that you worship none but Him, and that you be dutiful to your parents. If one of them or both of them attain old age in your life, say not to them a word of disrespect, nor shout at them but address them in terms of honour. And lower unto them the wing of humility through mercy, and say: ‘My Lord! Bestow on them Your mercy as they did bring me up when I was young.’”
(Quran 17:23–24)
This is not poetry. It’s guidance. Allah is reminding us that motherhood is not just an emotional bond; it is a right tied to worship. Disrespecting a mother isn’t a small slip—it’s an act condemned by Allah Himself.
Yet, too often, we treat mothers as optional. The Quran reminds us that their role is not optional—it’s foundational.
The Rights of Mothers in Islam
1. Love and Respect, Three Times Over
When a man asked the Prophet ﷺ who deserved his best companionship, he replied three times: “Your mother.” Then he said, “Your father.” (Bukhari, Muslim).
Why three times? Because only the mother carries the weight of pregnancy, labour, and nursing—sacrifices no one else bears.
2. Care and Support Even Before Jihad
One man came asking to join jihad. The Prophet ﷺ asked if his parents were alive. When he said yes, the Prophet ﷺ replied: “Then your jihad is with them.” (Bukhari 2842; Muslim 2549).
This tells us: serving your mother is greater than even the greatest voluntary deeds.
3. Gentle Words, Never Harshness
Allah even forbade the smallest expression of annoyance—“uff”—towards parents (Quran 17:23). If uff is forbidden, how about rolling eyes, slamming doors, or neglecting phone calls?
4. Financial Support if She Needs It
If the mother is poor or has no provider, spending on her is not charity—it’s a duty. The Prophet ﷺ told the story of a man who always gave milk to his elderly parents before his own children. That sincere act became the reason Allah rescued him from being trapped in a cave (Bukhari 2102; Muslim 2743).
5. Continuing Her Honour After Death
Islam does not let honour stop at the grave. It is sunnah to fulfill her vows, give charity, and perform Hajj and ‘Umrah on her behalf. (Refer to Bukhari 1754). He also said that honouring your parents continues by maintaining ties with their friends after they pass (Muslim 2552).
This is what Motherhood from the Sunnah really means: lifelong honour, not seasonal gestures.
The Rights of Children Over Their Mothers
Motherhood is not one-sided. Just as mothers have rights, children also have rights that we sometimes overlook.
1. Nurture, Breastfeeding, and Care
The Quran says: “Mothers shall give suck to their children for two whole years, for those who desire to complete the term of suckling.” (Quran 2:233). Nursing is not just feeding—it’s the first act of mercy, sacrifice, and closeness.
2. Raising Them Righteously
Mothers are shepherds. The Prophet ﷺ said: “The woman is the shepherd of her husband’s house and children, and she is responsible for them.” (Bukhari 853; Muslim 1829).
This means a mother’s role is not only physical but spiritual. Every bedtime story, every dua whispered over a child, every moment of patience in discipline—it’s all worship.
3. Fairness and Avoiding Favouritism
Children have the right to be treated equally. The Prophet ﷺ said: “Fear Allah and treat your children fairly.” (Bukhari 2447; Muslim 1623). Favouritism plants seeds of resentment. Fairness plants seeds of trust.
Where Mothers Don’t Have Authority
It’s important to remember balance. A mother cannot control every aspect of a child’s adulthood. For instance:
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She cannot forbid permissible choices, like food or clothing.
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She cannot force her son to reject a righteous wife.
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She cannot demand obedience in sin, even if it breaks her heart.
Islam teaches respect with limits. If parents call to shirk, Allah commands: “Do not obey them, but live with them kindly in this world.” (Qur’an 31:15).
The Father’s Role: Final Say in Some Matters
Fathers are given authority in matters of responsibility and finances—like schooling or property. However, authority is never absolute; it is tied to responsibility and justice. The Prophet ﷺ himself said: “Each of you is a shepherd, and each of you is responsible for his flock.”
This balance prevents both extremes: homes where mothers are silenced, and homes where fathers are erased.
What About “Mother’s Day”?
Let’s be real: Mother’s Day is not from Islam. Its roots lie in Christian, pagan, and Western traditions. Some Muslims adopted it to show love. But Islam does not need borrowed festivals.
The Prophet ﷺ warned: “Whoever imitates a people is one of them.” (Abu Dawud). And our scholars have clarified that Mother’s Day is a bidah (innovation) because Islam already gave us daily ways to honour mothers.
Instead of flowers once a year, Islam calls for kindness every day. Instead of a single card, Islam calls for lifelong dua.
When Family Roles Clash
Sometimes mothers and fathers disagree about raising kids. Sometimes mothers overstep, and sometimes children feel suffocated. What’s the Sunnah response?
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Shura (Consultation): The Quran commands consultation in weaning decisions (Qur’an 2:233). If that requires discussion, how much more for parenting as a whole?
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Private Resolution: Disagree away from children, so they don’t grow confused.
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Trust in Allah: When unsure, return to Quran, Sunnah, and advice of wise scholars.
This is balance. This is mercy.
Evidence-Based Insight: Why Motherhood Matters Daily
Research today shows what the Sunnah already told us centuries ago: children thrive when mothers are emotionally present, respected, and supported. Studies link parental warmth and consistency with better mental health, stronger faith identity, and resilience in life. Neglect, even emotional neglect, leads to rebellion, anxiety, and broken family ties.
Islamic guidance is not just spiritual—it’s proven effective.
Practical Reminders for Muslim Moms
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Call your mother today. Don’t wait for March 21.
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Make dua for her in every salah: “My Lord! Have mercy on them as they raised me when I was small.”
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Teach your kids fairness and eemaan—it’s their right.
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Balance obedience with boundaries. Respect your parents but never obey in disobedience.
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Honour mothers who aren’t Muslim. The Prophet ﷺ told Asma’ bint Abu Bakr to uphold ties with her polytheist mother (Bukhari 2477).
Conclusion: Returning to the Sunnah
At the heart of it, motherhood from the sunnah is not about one day, one card, or one bouquet. It is about a life of mercy, service, and respect—whether you are the child or the mother.
If you are a mother, know that your sacrifices are not unseen. Allah knows every tear, every sleepless night, and every whispered dua. If you are a child, know that your mother is your door to Jannah. Don’t close it with neglect.
“Is there any reward for good other than good?” (Qur’an 55:60)
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