5 Must-Know Principles To Raise Righteous Children
By the time I had my three bundles of plentiful joy (Alhamdulillaah!), I was overwhelmed with all the parenting principles out there. Every mother vouched for her own parenting principles and I loved the reminders. Despite that, I found it difficult to focus on raising righteous children who were also intelligent, well-spoken, confident, etc-etc-etc.
I went through many parenting roller coasters, trying different principles, strategies and tips. I, then, concluded that I won’t be able to follow every piece of parenting advice out there. Who has the time for that?! I was being overambitious.
A late realisation, I know.
I decided to throw everything out the window and focus on the most important rules of parenting. When I thought about it deeply, what mattered most was my children’s Hereafter. And, that’s where I started.
I don’t know if you love Maths, but let me try and make this easy to understand.
Let’s say we get our children to spend 8 hours on school and homework. All for what?
The success in this world.
And how much is this world worth when compared to the Hereafter? It’s a drop (or two?) compared to an ocean.
If our kids spend 8 hours every day preparing for this ‘drop’, how much time should we train them to spend preparing for the endless ocean of the Hereafter? (This is just food for thought. Please don’t pull them out of school or anything.)
Not saying we should give up on this world. It’s all a matter of priorities. Imagine we raise our children with Islamic principles to be righteous, whilst they also succeed in this world. How cool would that be?!
So how do we start? We’ll look at some practical tips on how to raise righteous children with Islamic principles. Raising children in an Islamic environment requires us to teach our kids right from wrong. We also need to instil good values into our offspring.
1. Teach children about Islam.
Every parent must raise and educate their children well. Whether you’re a man or a woman, you are a shepherd responsible for your flock. Teaching children about Islam is one of the most important things parents can do to help their kids develop strong moral character.
We need to teach our children about Allaah and His Messenger, Islam, Paradise and Hellfire. Teach them about the basics of Islam, such as the five pillars of Islam and the pillars of faith. Explain the purpose of each pillar and how it relates to living a good life.
They also need to know how to perform salaah (prayer) and be righteous people. It is also very important to teach them that all people are equal, regardless of gender, race, or nationality.
It’s not enough to simply tell them what Islam teaches; they also need to understand why these teachings are important. Parents should explain the importance of following Allah’s laws, and show them examples of how we live by those rules.
When you teach children well and raise righteous children, it becomes an act that will bring you ongoing rewards for as long as your children implement those teachings. And maybe even beyond if they pass it on. One of the ways to teach them would be to play videos and audios from scholars at home. Such material is available. We have no excuse.
2. Protect your children from immorality and misguidance.
We need to keep them away from immorality and misguidance. We cannot leave them to watch whatever they want on TV or to hang out with bad people, and then expect them to stay untainted. Encourage them to make friends with other righteous children who frequent the mosque and are well-behaved.
3. Start training them early.
We need to teach our children good things earlier in life.
The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Teach your children to pray when they are seven years old…”
It’s never too late to start educating your child about Islam and training them to be righteous. If you’re concerned about what your child will learn at school, opt for an Islamic school. If they’re expensive, you could ask other Muslim parents for public school suggestions. You might even consider homeschooling so you can tailor lessons to your child’s interests.
4. Be merciful and easy-going.
Islam teaches us to be kind, merciful and easy-going, not rude. How will our children be able to learn good manners if we ourselves lack manners? Not every battle needs to be fought. Especially the things that don’t matter in the grand scheme of things (the Hereafter). And if you have to discipline them for anything (which we often have to do), it doesn’t have to be harsh. Take the best means that will bring the best results to your child. But it all starts with kindness.
5. Be their hero.
The most important of all is to be the best example you can be to your children. It’s great to teach them about Islam; yet, we must also practice what we preach. As parents, we should set an example for our children by showing them what good behavior looks like. If we show kindness and compassion, then our kids will learn these values as well.
Write down what an ideal child does in a day and do exactly that. Your children listen more to your actions than your words.
These are five ways to raise righteous children with Islamic principles. These are not quick tips that can ‘quick fix’ children. Raising righteous children is an ongoing process.
You’ll need to keep teaching and reminding them whilst you protect them from all negative influences. Even though it’s a good idea to start early, it’s never too late. Keep putting in efforts to raise them well; no effort is ever wasted. You will reap what you sow.
And remember to always be kind and easy-going. They’re not learning from your words as much as they’re learning from your actions.
Even if they test your patience, don’t give up on them. Every good intention and action to raise them in the best way counts. And because each child is different, you’ll also need the foolproof formula of dua every step of the way.
Because children don’t come with a manual, it can be challenging to be a proactive, thriving parent. Here is a simple, yet powerful, checklist for parents. It has gentle reminders and hands-on tips for quality interactions with your children. Plus, I formulated it keeping their spiritual well-being and best interests in mind. Want to make your children happier in this world and the Hereafter? Go on and check out this FREE Exclusive checklist!