How to be a Happy Muslimah
Happiness. You want it. I want it.
It’s happiness that we ultimately want in this world and the Hereafter. Some Muslims have the wrong idea that happiness shouldn’t be sought in the realm of this world and is reserved for the Hereafter. Of course, trials are inevitable because life is a test and it’s not possible to be a ‘100% happy’ Muslimah in this world, but there is nothing wrong with seeking happiness here.
The many ways to be a happy Muslimah would be :
1. Believe in Allaah, have sincere faith and do righteous deeds.
Allah says, ‘Whoever does righteousness, whether male or female, while he is a believer – We will surely cause him to live a good life, and We will surely give them their reward [in the Hereafter] according to the best of what they used to do. (an-Nahl 16:97)
Happiness, safety and joy in this world and the Hereafter are based on the extent of having faith in Allaah and doing righteous deeds. Keep yourself distracted from anxiety and unhappiness by doing good deeds and seeking beneficial knowledge. The benefits of having strong faith to lead healthier, happier lives is also well-documented in various studies.
2. Remember that life will follow your train of thought.
Thoughts inspire actions. If your thoughts and actions are beneficial, your life will be good and happy, in sha Allaah.
3. Don’t worry about imaginary things. Shoo away bad and negative thoughts. Thinking about and expecting bad things or the loss of good things will make you feel worried and distressed. Don’t allow such thoughts to overwhelm you. Hoping for Allaah’s Mercy brings strength, comfort and happiness to your heart. Stay hopeful and keep smiling. Good things will happen.
4. Fear Allaah. Allah says, ‘And whoever fears Allah – He will make for him a way out And will provide for him from where he does not expect. And whoever relies upon Allah – then He is sufficient for him. Indeed, Allah will accomplish His purpose. Allah has already set for everything a [decreed] extent. [al-Talaq 65:2-3] Enough said?
5. Say the following dua:
اللَّهُمَّ رَحْمَتَكَ أَرْجُو فَلَا تَكِلْنِي إِلَى نَفْسِي طَرْفَةَ عَيْنٍ وَأَصْلِحْ لِي شَأْنِي كُلَّهُ لَا إِلَهَ إِلَا أَنْتَ
(O Allah, for Your mercy I hope, so do not abandon me to myself even for a moment. And correct all my affairs. There is no god but You.)
If you make duaa and work to fix your problems and do what you can to be a happy Muslimah, Allah will answer your duaa and fix your affairs.
6. Fix whatever is fixable. Eliminate the bad things that cause worry and work towards good things that can make you a happy Muslimah. Deal with every bad thing that causes worry, grief and despair with whatever means are available. Don’t fall short in taking measures to be happy.
7. Put your trust and reliance on Allah. Have faith in and depend on Allaah. He will never let you down. Simply trusting Him can bring you great reward in this world and the Hereafter.
8. Have patience and be content with what Allaah has decreed. Accept the problems that you are unable to avoid or fix and submit to Allaah’s Will. Remember that this life is a test. Difficulties and suffering is a part of life and is inevitable. Some people don’t understand this and tend to see themselves as victims whenever something goes wrong. For example, death. It will come to everyone of us. Trying to ignore this fact is not going to help.
If you see every test and suffering as ‘unfair’, you’ll feel like a victim, wallow in self-pity and assign blame. View a test or suffering as it is and don’t magnify it and subject yourself to more unnecessary anguish. Obstacles are an opportunity to show patience and become stronger.
Also, remember that change is constant. It’s better to accept that everything you have isn’t going to stay with you until you die. And, don’t hold on to the past; don’t replay it in your mind. There is no need to re-live the pain again and again. Let go.
With bad things, come strength, experience, patience and reward and these can bring happiness too. Remember that this world passes swiftly and eternal rest and happiness is awaiting you in the Hereafter. Live with whatever you have and seek happiness within it.
9. A righteous spouse, a spacious house with a lot of amenities, a good neighbour, and a comfortable mount are also sources of happiness. These bring comfort to the body and heart and make life easier.
10. Show compassion to others and Allaah will show you compassion. Showing kindness and being empathetic can also give you an emotional high. By connecting with and building relationships with good people around us, we can lead happier lives.
11. Don’t get angry. Anger is an obstruction to happiness and can destroy your peace of mind. Anger can cloud your judgement, make you act in regrettable ways and worsen the situation. According to scientific studies, anger is also shown to negatively impact health and increase the risk of heart disease.
Whenever you get angry,
- Use the antidote of seeking refuge from the Satan.
- Restrain yourself from insulting people and show love, compassion and patience instead.
- Practise being calm and content to reduce stress which decreases the chances of feeling anger.
- Take a time-out to think before you speak or act.
- Remind yourself to be patient for Allaah’s Sake.
12. Stay positive and show gratitude to Allaah. A positive attitude that eliminates unhappiness and harmful emotions can be habitually cultivated. For example, don’t focus on the problems in your business or finances and recognize the blessing of your good health and loving family and show gratitude to Him. And even within a negative situation, you can find many positive elements.
Becoming a positive, grateful person is not a “quick fix” that can happen overnight. You’ll need to understand why you need to be positive and become determined to change. It takes sustained effort and time to be a positive person and to see the positives in every situation.
13. Deal with anxiety if you are faced with it. Reminding yourself about the reason behind doing something can dispel anxiety. Poor self-confidence can also lead to anxiety. Be honest about your capabilities and remind yourself that of the amazing intellect and potential within every single human being like yourself.
These are some points to pave the way towards being a happy Muslimah. What do you do to stay happy? Please comment to share your ‘happiness tips’ with us.
May Allaah grant us happiness in the realms of this world AND the Hereafter.