Daughters in Islam: A Step-by-Step Rant on Why Daughters Should be Cherished
My wonderful sister recently gave birth to her second child, a girl. (Allaahumma baarik alayhum.) While our family rejoices about the good news of this new addition to the family, this overloaded bundle of cuteness, we heard of external family members who didn’t sound too pleased with the news.
Because it’s a girl.
If you didn’t know this was still happening in our ummah, if you have been living under a rock all your life, welcome, once again to reality! Despite everything the Sunnah states about the merits of having daughters in Islam, and caring for them with kindness, we still see and hear about people who are displeased with having daughters! This level of foolishness, ignorance and stupidity is beyond my limited comprehension.
What does the Quraan say?
Allah says, “And when the news of (the birth of) a female (child) is brought to any of them, his face becomes dark, and he is filled with inward grief! He hides himself from the people because of the evil of that whereof he has been informed. Shall he keep her with dishonour or bury her in the earth? Certainly, evil is their decision!” [al-Nahl 16:58-59]
Is there much of a difference between the people of those days, the time of Jaahileeyah and many people of today? Whatever happened to trusting Allaah’s wisdom and knowledge?
Allaah also says, “To Allaah belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth. He creates what He wills. He bestows female (offspring) upon whom He wills, and bestows male (offspring) upon whom He wills. Or He bestows both males and females, and He renders barren whom He wills” [al-Shoora 42:49-50]
As believers who have full faith and trust in Allaah, can we not accept His decree, rejoice and thank Him for any gift He bestows on us?
The Prophet (salallaahu alayhi wasalaam), who is the best example for us, was blessed with four daughters and three sons and he treated all of them with compassion.
“Indeed in the Messenger of Allaah (Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم) you have a good example to follow for him who hopes for (the Meeting with) Allaah and the Last Day, and remembers Allaah much” [al-Ahzaab 33:21]
What did our Prophet (salallaahu alayhi wasalaam) say?
There are many hadith in which the Prophet (salallaahu alayhi wasallam) mentions the great reward that you can gain from having and treating daughters with kindness.
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever takes care of two girls until they reach puberty, he and I will come like this on the Day of Resurrection” – and he held his two fingers together. (Narrated by Muslim, 2631).
The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) also said: “Whoever is tested by means of these girls, and he treats them with kindness, they will be a protection for him from the Fire.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1418, with al-Fath; Muslim, 2729).
The reward for caring for daughters and treating them with kindness is for both, fathers and mothers. If a daughter is a source of much reward, instead of feeling burdened, aren’t people supposed to be rejoicing?
It is also said that women are one half of society which gives birth to the other half, so it is as if they are the entire society.
Ok, ok. I’ll should stop ranting now.
And, having yapped about daughters enough, I’d also like to mention that it is, of course, permissible to ask Allaah to bless you with a righteous son. Prophet Sulayman (alayhis salaam) wished to have sons who will strive for the sake of Allaah.
Yet, is it right to feel displeased if Allaah gifted someone with a daughter instead? Doesn’t He, the All-Knowing, indeed, know better? Because whatever He does is the best, can’t we trust Him more?
I wish I didn’t have to write about this. I wish the world was more… hmm… Is ‘wholesome’ the right word? These are simple things that our ummah CAN get right, yet we are still basking in ignorance and darkness.
Alhamdulillaah, my parents cherish my sisters and me, even though they have no sons. But my heart aches for all the other Muslimahs out there, who are real treasures because they are a source of reward for their parents, yet aren’t feeling treasured enough. Because their parents would have rather had a son instead of them.